BRING THE KIDS

Top of the Tots – Town and Country

By Laura Osborne

Having a baby changes your life, but it doesn’t have to change your lifestyle. Unwilling to choose between the Birkin bag and the Bugaboo, our little family packs both and heads to the U.K. to have our cake and eat it too.

Aspley's at the Lanesborough

The butler did it
 
Never mind the “family-friendly” hotel: William and I and our five-month-old son, Andrew, book into the Lanesborough, one of the most exclusive addresses in London. Considered a six-star property among the cognoscenti, the Lanesborough is a Regency hotel (think Buckingham Palace) in Hyde Park Corner, just steps from Harrods, Harvey Nichols and – naturally – Buckingham Palace.
 
The stroller glides across the smooth floors of the neoclassical entrance (the absence of stairs wins immediate points), and as we check in, Andrew is seduced by the cooing staff (more points). Our suite is reminiscent of a swank private residence. The dark mahogany paneling is punctuated by deep, buttoned leather sofas and chaise longues with silk brocade pillows. The pomp and circumstance even extends to the crib in the form of a silky hotel-branded teddy bear. But it’s not the Italian Carrera marble bathroom or the fog-free mirrors that really impress; it’s our personal butler. More ice in the champagne bucket? Or maybe you’ve just run out of diapers? All you need to do is ask. In fact, butlers are even on hand to sing lullabies and rock your baby to sleep. Jeeves would approve.

As a family, we feel very welcome, but we’re a little anxious heading down to dinner. Aspley’s, the hotel’s plush Italian restaurant, frequented by celebrities like Madonna, has a reputation for being intimidating, so we prepare for the worst. The crying starts as we scarf down the nuggets of aged parmigiano reggiano and the decibels rise over appetizers of tender veal loin bathed in a tangy tuna sauce and char-grilled calamari with tomato and basil. Soon all hell breaks loose. William and I avoid eye contact with our fellow diners as I try to simultaneously rock our son to sleep and sneak bites of tender scallops saltimbocca and pea mash drizzled in the salty sea taste of samphire and sauce vierge.

Just as Andrew’s purple-faced howling crescendoes, I see the maître d’ purposefully making his way over to our table (no doubt, to politely suggest we retire to our room). “Would you like me to warm up his milk, madam?” he asks instead with a big smile. Indeed. A few minutes later, we are all content: Andrew’s sound asleep, and we sip our coffees while munching on chewy amaretti cookies.

Just our luck
 
We motor a mile up a drive canopied by towering beech and lime trees before we catch a glimpse of Lucknam Park, a stately home set on 500 acres of verdant parkland. The Relais & Châteaux Palladian manor house, six miles outside of historic Bath, is like something out of The Remains of the Day. The portico, flanked by bowed wings and Georgian furnishings, is unspoiled country living for the very, very spoiled.
 
A much younger – and infinitely happier – version of Anthony Hopkins’ butler character greets us as soon as we arrive. While we check in, he has our stroller packed away and our bags dispatched to our room without us even noticing. Within a few minutes, Anthony ushers us into the dining room where the staff doesn’t miss a beat setting up a high chair. And while they are ever-present in their formal dress, sweeping crumbs off the table and offering to prepare organic baby purées, the formality is never oppressive. From the sommelier to the porter, everyone seems genuinely pleased to have us here.

Our son delights in the trompe l’oeil on the ceiling while we delight in a little Château Monbazillac with dessert, discussing the possibilities for the next day. Options include exploring the Roman Baths, a riding lesson on-site, followed by a hack across the grounds, and a dip in the pool (where there are no restrictions on when children can swim). On our way back to our room, I stop to inquire about dinner – major deal with Michelin-starred chef Hywel Jones in the kitchen. Mr. Hopkins makes a reservation for 8 p.m. with drinks in the drawing room at 7:30 p.m. A mature female staff member with impeccable Relais & Châteaux references happens to be available to sit, and in moments we have a babysitter. Who says family life is about compromise?

(Laura Osborne, a senior editor at Spafax and a new parent, is now a fan of designer baby baggage and the odd butler – or two – to carry it.)